We all have seen it, we all know it, but somehow we all fail to recognise it. Take for example; every time we smile looking at the silly puppet on television warning us of AIDS awareness, Buladi. The snorts of derision, the looks of affability, every time someone asks us to play Ludo with them. Yes, my friends I am talking about sexual intercourse. Hold your looks of incredulity, because this is just the beginning.
Sex is the main purpose of a human being, rather for any organism. Whatever we do, we do for sex, directly or indirectly. Love, hate, relationship, etc. are all absolute bull crap. It is sex which is the all-important, all-consuming factor of a living being’s life. Take for example, love; when you love someone you invariably want to have sex with that person sooner or later. When you hate someone, you definitely don’t want to have sex with that person. When you like someone of the opposite sex, you are interested to have sex with that person, but not to the extent of love. When you like someone of the same sex, you are hoping that that person will introduce you to a person of the opposite sex who might have sexual intercourse with you. The only exception to sex as a universal property is parental relationship with their children. But the fact remains, that again parent and children relationships are a product of (you guessed it) sex.
Now, why is sex universal? How is sex universal? Take this example; something far-flung from sex: why do we eat? We eat so that we remain healthy and survive. And why would we want to survive? So that we can continue the human species, or else we will go extinct like the dodo. And how would we prevent the human species from taking after the dodo? By having children; and how do we have children? At this point I don’t even have to answer that.
Another example: Why do we study? Well, simple. We study so that we can earn. What happens when we earn? The opposite sex takes notice, and when they take notice they invariably want to have sex with us, because money is the universal language of sex (looks are secondary; anyone will tell you that!). Don’t get me wrong, I am not suggesting that the human race is a race of prostitutes running after sex for money. It’s just that (like any female will tell you) everyone needs a secure future, and the only way that will happen is by having a huge bank balance, or by having a spouse who has a huge bank balance. And why do we need a secure future? So that we can secure the future of our future generations; and how do we end up with a future generation? More and MORE SEX!
So you see folks, sex is universal. You just can’t say “Ok, this guy is off his rocker. I won’t have sex.” I mean DUH! How silly, if you don’t want to have sex, join the Vatican. They sure have lots of space for people like you. They might even make you the Pope someday.
PS: If you’re a relative; I didn’t write this! Honest!
PPS: If you’re my girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, wife, ex-wife; I know what you’re thinking, you should have thought of that EARLIER.
This post was conceived by Soumya Mukherjee (The Unrajat) and executed by the author. It is purely a figment of the author’s imagination. Anything that resembles, or seems to resemble any real person, place or belief is purely coincidental. Though, the author would not mind sex sometime or the other, most of the post is for amusement of the reader only. Do not institute legal suit against the author and/or Soumya since they did not wish to cause damage to you or your sentiments.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Moonchild
He yawned. It was two in the morning. And, why not? He has been awake for hours and hours on his computer, without much success. Editing a school paper is tough work. All the boring articles, all the really boring essays, all the ultra-boring banter. Ho-Hum! And the spelling mistakes! Atrocious, to say the very least. He yawned again. No more of boredom. He got up stretched and went downstairs. Caffeine made no difference anymore. He still felt sleepy. A quick trip to the wash-basin helped, but not much.
"...and what else is new? Do you need anything?"
"Not, that I know of. Yes you can help me with the editing. Make me a crossword. Or, make it two!"
"Why should I, duh! Your school paper."
"Please, please! I am knee deep in trouble here!"
"All right, kore debo ja!"
...the voices kept going round and round in his head. What the hell, was he going mad? Can't he even have a sane conversation with people, without it going round and round in his head? Damn, more coffee.
Ah, that felt better. Back to work, but before that a litle trip to the terrace would feel better. Once in the terrace, he looked up. A twinkling little thing made its presence felt by shooting across the amazingly starry sky...
".....do you wish upon stars?"
"Naah, not much, don't notice them! Keno?"
"Na, wish upon them na?"
"Ha ha ha, are you ordering me? Chol ekshathe kori."
"Fine...."
"What did you wish?"
"I won't tell you, duh, it's not meant to be told to anyone"
"Amay bolbi na?"
"Na."
.....he shook his head vigorously. Too much coffee, he needed sleep. So he turned in.
Next Morning. A news headline caught everyone in his street in shock:
Kolkata, 18th December, 2006; A teen jumped off the third floor of his house today. The police think he committed suicide at around 2.30 am in the morning. A hysterical mother said the boy complained of voices in his head since the morning. Doctors suggest a mental disorder. Further investigations reveal a bizarre suicide note on the boy's laptop where he was working last. An empty coffee mug was found on the terrace where he is presumed to have jumped off from. The boy was....
"...and what else is new? Do you need anything?"
"Not, that I know of. Yes you can help me with the editing. Make me a crossword. Or, make it two!"
"Why should I, duh! Your school paper."
"Please, please! I am knee deep in trouble here!"
"All right, kore debo ja!"
...the voices kept going round and round in his head. What the hell, was he going mad? Can't he even have a sane conversation with people, without it going round and round in his head? Damn, more coffee.
Ah, that felt better. Back to work, but before that a litle trip to the terrace would feel better. Once in the terrace, he looked up. A twinkling little thing made its presence felt by shooting across the amazingly starry sky...
".....do you wish upon stars?"
"Naah, not much, don't notice them! Keno?"
"Na, wish upon them na?"
"Ha ha ha, are you ordering me? Chol ekshathe kori."
"Fine...."
"What did you wish?"
"I won't tell you, duh, it's not meant to be told to anyone"
"Amay bolbi na?"
"Na."
.....he shook his head vigorously. Too much coffee, he needed sleep. So he turned in.
Next Morning. A news headline caught everyone in his street in shock:
Kolkata, 18th December, 2006; A teen jumped off the third floor of his house today. The police think he committed suicide at around 2.30 am in the morning. A hysterical mother said the boy complained of voices in his head since the morning. Doctors suggest a mental disorder. Further investigations reveal a bizarre suicide note on the boy's laptop where he was working last. An empty coffee mug was found on the terrace where he is presumed to have jumped off from. The boy was....
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Promises
..."am calling you tonight, take my call."
"I can't. You know I have problems, will call you at 4, normal time"
The muffled vibrations woke me up. Bleary eyed I felt around for the digital bedside clock I got from my great grand-mother on my 12th birthday. It was still dark outside, the clock said it was 3.56 am. It could be only one person at this hour, "Hey, Morning!"
It was almost 4. My head hurt. Was it because of all the smoke in my brain, or the 4 shots of vodka the night before? Who cares?
"So what are you doing?"
"Nothing. Was sleeping. My head hurts."
"Didn't you get any sleep?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Vodka yaar! There was a party."
"You took alcohol again?"
"Yes. What's the harm?"
"Did you smoke?"
"Ummm... not exactly, I mean, one puff..."
"So you smoked? You promised me that you would never touch a cigarette, and you smoked?"
"Promises? Blaah! They don't mean a thing to me. C'mon ya, just one puff...."
....the emptiness was defeaning. The busy line indicated that she had hung up. I lit a cigarette and sat down. I knew she would call back. This time, she never did.
"I can't. You know I have problems, will call you at 4, normal time"
The muffled vibrations woke me up. Bleary eyed I felt around for the digital bedside clock I got from my great grand-mother on my 12th birthday. It was still dark outside, the clock said it was 3.56 am. It could be only one person at this hour, "Hey, Morning!"
It was almost 4. My head hurt. Was it because of all the smoke in my brain, or the 4 shots of vodka the night before? Who cares?
"So what are you doing?"
"Nothing. Was sleeping. My head hurts."
"Didn't you get any sleep?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Vodka yaar! There was a party."
"You took alcohol again?"
"Yes. What's the harm?"
"Did you smoke?"
"Ummm... not exactly, I mean, one puff..."
"So you smoked? You promised me that you would never touch a cigarette, and you smoked?"
"Promises? Blaah! They don't mean a thing to me. C'mon ya, just one puff...."
....the emptiness was defeaning. The busy line indicated that she had hung up. I lit a cigarette and sat down. I knew she would call back. This time, she never did.
You're So Very Special...
It’s very tricky to completely write about what I want to pen down today. For once, I am not being my egotistical self ‘coz this post is not for me. It is for two people who have been my support and inspiration for a long time. But I am not here to talk about that.
On 10th – 11th April, 2006 something happened which is entirely a mystery to us all. Heck, some people are already scratching their heads trying to look up the holiday list. No, it isn’t a holiday; it’s not even a birthday worth remembering. But, for two people it was the day they decided that they will commit to each other, uncaring about the hardships the future might hold. I, myself found out later, of course, the precise date(s) of the mystery day, but nonetheless I was ecstatic. I did not know one person save for common friend accounts and of course the boy was my best friend, guide and rock.
From day one, both Saikat and Tuna had to endure a lot of denigration, a lot of flak and definitely a lot of rod from their respective parents. There were tears, there was anger, and there were people who openly criticised their decisions. Sadly for the cynics, there was love too. A love which I will not understand, you my reader will certainly not understand ‘coz love is such a planet which remains the same yet is discovered differently by any two people who chance to visit it. Every time I decide to write down on abstract themes, such as this, I try very hard not to relate to personal experiences because these are not MY experiences, they are viewed through the myriad vision of a complete 3rd person.
They balance each other in every way. There is a saying that ‘opposites attract’. I never believed the adage until I saw it with my own eyes. Saikat and Tuna are as different from each other as ice and fire. Saikat is the cool, calm and collected in the face of adversity, while Tuna is fiery in every word, blatant to the core and not afraid to lash out at any of her detractors. Saikat prefers to eat loads, Tuna prefers to leave food alone. Saikat has a very reserved demeanour, Tuna is a more open person. They are like a jigsaw puzzle, each and every groove needs an extension to give the perfect picture. Few can come that close to perfection.
Without talking too much about the rapport they share (frankly, I am in no position to talk about what they share!), I will cut to the chase. On this 2nd day of April (I was FORCED to write this a good 8 days before the actual anniversary, I thought I could delay it, but CERTAIN people are a bit TOO impatient!), I would like to wish you Saikat Ghosh and you, Tuna Dasgupta, all the happiness life has to offer. It has been a year, and a long one at that, since you decided on commitment and it has changed both your lives significantly. It is not always that one sees two people share this near ideal blend of understanding, trust, friendship and love. You are very fortunate, and both of you are my inspiration in trying to maintain this kind of relationship in my life. More than me learning from my mistakes I have learnt from your attainment. God bless you both!
On 10th – 11th April, 2006 something happened which is entirely a mystery to us all. Heck, some people are already scratching their heads trying to look up the holiday list. No, it isn’t a holiday; it’s not even a birthday worth remembering. But, for two people it was the day they decided that they will commit to each other, uncaring about the hardships the future might hold. I, myself found out later, of course, the precise date(s) of the mystery day, but nonetheless I was ecstatic. I did not know one person save for common friend accounts and of course the boy was my best friend, guide and rock.
From day one, both Saikat and Tuna had to endure a lot of denigration, a lot of flak and definitely a lot of rod from their respective parents. There were tears, there was anger, and there were people who openly criticised their decisions. Sadly for the cynics, there was love too. A love which I will not understand, you my reader will certainly not understand ‘coz love is such a planet which remains the same yet is discovered differently by any two people who chance to visit it. Every time I decide to write down on abstract themes, such as this, I try very hard not to relate to personal experiences because these are not MY experiences, they are viewed through the myriad vision of a complete 3rd person.
They balance each other in every way. There is a saying that ‘opposites attract’. I never believed the adage until I saw it with my own eyes. Saikat and Tuna are as different from each other as ice and fire. Saikat is the cool, calm and collected in the face of adversity, while Tuna is fiery in every word, blatant to the core and not afraid to lash out at any of her detractors. Saikat prefers to eat loads, Tuna prefers to leave food alone. Saikat has a very reserved demeanour, Tuna is a more open person. They are like a jigsaw puzzle, each and every groove needs an extension to give the perfect picture. Few can come that close to perfection.
Without talking too much about the rapport they share (frankly, I am in no position to talk about what they share!), I will cut to the chase. On this 2nd day of April (I was FORCED to write this a good 8 days before the actual anniversary, I thought I could delay it, but CERTAIN people are a bit TOO impatient!), I would like to wish you Saikat Ghosh and you, Tuna Dasgupta, all the happiness life has to offer. It has been a year, and a long one at that, since you decided on commitment and it has changed both your lives significantly. It is not always that one sees two people share this near ideal blend of understanding, trust, friendship and love. You are very fortunate, and both of you are my inspiration in trying to maintain this kind of relationship in my life. More than me learning from my mistakes I have learnt from your attainment. God bless you both!
You float like a feather
In this beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special…
Changing The Way I Cry
My Last Poem. I call it "Changing The Way I Cry". I completed it on 28th December 2006. Due to complications, I did not post it then, but now it does not matter anymore.
Walking beneath the Tree of Sanctuary
Looking back at the times we all made merry
Times of laughter times of Joy
Times: you and I both, came to enjoy
Times of pain and times of strife
Times we were forced to call this 'life'
Happiness torn away with lies black and white
Is it only me, where the demons within me fight?
I don't know why,
Or am I just changing the way I cry?
The leaves of heaven fall all around me
Teary faces we will never again see,
Anger, pain, lust, love and desire
Can you take me evermore higher?
The higher we go, the more blood they spill
The crimson tides, is it me you want to kill?
Stabbed happiness, hollow laughter,
Undead eyes, so is it me you're after?
I do know, why,
Because I am changing the way I cry.
Meeting men with stories untold
Weathered smiles, with memories of old
Iris of anger, this rage knew no bounds,
Pieces of my soul fed to the damned hell-hounds
Burning skin, tortured flesh, we boast no gains
Pierced soul, crucified heart; all of it pains...
Dreams shattered, promises broken, wishes untrue
We just lost it all, all thanks to me and you
I don't want to die.
'Coz it's the same as changing the way I cry.
My World...Not More, Not Less
Yes, like I promised I will accurately try and thank all the people who deserve to be thanked. If I leave out someone, please don't hesitate to comment, because I am writing this in the spur of the moment. And another new year resolution: I will MAKE IT A POINT to maintain my blog. Too many people have come to me to tell me to do so! (PS. The names are in no particular order except the first two. I randomly wrote them as I remembered them)
Mame (Ma) - Yes, I know I know, I should never thank her (how can I think of thanking her??). But yes ma, I love you! We have had our fights, and I have outright disobeyed you and I know your internet skills are too primitive to read this before 2020 AD, but still I would like to say, you are my life! You gave me life, and I will never pretend that I love you no matter what! And PLEASE, stop believing those astrologers FOR ONCE!! They speak crap most of the time!!
Babe (Dad) - Yes Father, it is but NATURAL that I should thank you next. I know I have often hurt you, but I won't pretend that I don't understand the sacrifices you make to make sure my future is bright! Staying in an unknown country for 3 years, alone without family, friends, it is almost inhuman! But yes, dad, I love you like mad too! And I miss you every night, everyday. Come back soon!
Debayan (aka Modon) - What the hell do I say about you? One of my first school friends and one of my greatest friends EVER, this guy is often under-estimated to be a fool and ununderstanding. But he understands everything inside me even before I say it. Probably the only one of that kind. It doesn't take a fool to do that. We have had our share of fights, angry outbursts and every other negative thing in the past, but you would expect that in fourteen years of friendship. The only one who knows me INSIDE OUT. There are many things in my past who recent friends don't know, but Debs and Soumya don't count in them. Don't you ever think you are not important in my life, because you are wrong. You are as important as oxygen itself. And yes as for his wife (aka my seester) Sayani Mukherjee, well she needs to be mentioned along with his name 'coz they have been inseparable for 4 years. Sayani you're too sweet, thanks for fighting with me all the time with hopeless issues. Love both of you.
Lolo - And you were expecting Santa Claus next I suppose??? Let's just pass for now...
Namrata (Basu) - The all-in-one. Best friend, shoulder to cry, worst critic, etc. etc. etc. Yes, there have been times when one fights and one cries and one pouts and one feels sad. These are the times when the light-bearers bring light to your life. Nam has been such a light-bearer. She has always made me feel like I am some mature idiot, in truth I am like anyone else, who needs a pillar of strength supporting me, Nam has been my pillar when times look down. You know why I feel so strong? Because I have had so many pillars supporting my life. I am always there for you when you don't need me, but more so when you need me desperately.
Saikat - He is my brother. The shoulder to cry on. The robotic shoulder. The only person who has unbiasedly shown me reason and the right path. The only one who knows how I feel even before I utter it. And sometimes all that scares me, parting, end of school, etc. etc. Yes, Saikat you have been my rock. One of my biggest rocks and I can't write enough to thank you. Don't worry I will never ever keep anything from you again, lesson learnt!
Faraz (aka Fuzz) - Another brother. Another rock. Another pillar of support, but no he has never showed me logic or reason, but he has been blind in support of me. No matter if I am right or wrong, Fuzz has guided me in that direction and always been there to make sure that I succeed, no matter what! Faraz, my brother, without you beside me enduring all that I have would have been a Herculean effort. Thank you, I know I am demeaning our friendship by saying thank you, but there is no time like now to say it! Needless to say that I will always be there when you need me.
Shiladitya - Yes, I know this is getting too long, but I want EVERYONE here to read this. Shilu, my littlest, bestest, cutest buddy. This is guy is an out and out supporter of whatever I do, and don't let what he tells you fool you. 'Coz whatever happens, I will get to know anyway, so DON'T BITCH ABT ME TO THESE people. It's not right for me to know about the bitchings. Shila has been a great friend ever since we 'fought' in class 10 (or I pulverised him in class 10). We have shared life's great sorrows, miseries, happinesses, flunky chemistry marks, and what not in these last four odd years. I can never thank you enough.
Soumya - My red-blooded friend has been a constant source of support and happiness mixed with mutual sorrow and tears in the last 12 years. Even before that we were great friends and always gave each other the mutual respect we deserve. Perhaps the only one who has paid heed to my advice sincerely and dedicatedly, because when he has not, life has not been kind on him. Impulsive to the bone, me loves you brother! Brother, no no no, you're my BABY!!!
Ranamit (one half of Ronojoy) - Yes, my keora buddy, you are one of the people who make my brain tick more than anyone else with your cryptic talks and your even more cryptic catchphrases. But it all makes sense once you open up the mind. Rono is a great source of inspiration, I know it has been jus 2 years, but he is often under-estimated. He is not the shoulder to cry on type of friend, gets uncomfortable with emotional talks so he makes me laugh with his stupid phrases. I like that. You have saved my hide on a number of occasions, often putting your own reputation at stake. I am greatly indebted to you, monetarily and mentally!
Anindita - What do I say about the girl who has been one of my closest friends for soooo long. Yes, she is the 1st girl (other than cousins, relatives, etc.) who I ever spoke to and she has trusted me beyond herself. That is something I can say for very few people. Thank you, Andi, for being such a part of my life and seeing me through my worse phases and now seeing through my best. God knows why we fight so much? God knows why we end up in a soup everytime we fight, but yes, I am so much in need of support in my life that I quite enjoy the making up after the fights. Thank you for being there, thank you for being soooo stubborn, thank you for making life so much more bearable.
Sabyasachi - Never thought you would make it to this list would you? But you have. This guy just PROVES the meaning of really fast friends. We are kinda family friends too, but right now he is the one who gets to hear most of my cribbings and shoutings and ramblings and sometimes some very useful advice. I dunno why we are such close friends now, maybe from his side its coz he still needs my help on something, but dude, I am sure, friendship is not based on the QUANTITY of time spent but on the QUALITY of time spent with each other. This guy is always ready to give me a treat, and I promise you a big treat soon.
Souvik - hah! Mr. Boyish Charm can't beat the man you are inside. We have grown really close over the last 2 years, though you ALWAYS seem to call when I am eating or studying and it ends up as a silly missed call. But yes, he is ALSO someone I can go and speak to anytime and he will always be there to soothe the nerve while playing the guitar. Thanks man.
Bharat - Another underestimated friend. He is a good guy at heart. His advice makes sense; trust me on this. He is greatly affected in his own personal life and I am really grateful that you told me about most of it. I am sure our friendship will blossom in the near future, and we will have great times to share once we leave St. James' into the outer world, making waves in our own fields. Don't worry about what other people say as long as you know you are right from within.
Ankit - Yes, we have had our differences, but trust this guy to turn up with the goods when it comes to proper advice. Ankit is my oldest friend, some one who I know is always there when I need a friend and all else fails. I thank you for whatever you have done for me for the past 18 years. Its a lot of 'thank yous', but all of it is worth it because friendship goes deep to the bone, no matter what misunderstanding or differences occur.
Tuna - She is like the sister I never had. Sister-in-law, correction, since I just proclaimed Saikat as my brother. But seriously, here is one female I am truly scared of. She seems proud of the fact that she scares the Grizzly. Well I thank you for all the advice and all the stuff you have said over the past. Makes a lot of sense at this stage of my life. You people have actually changed my life completely. A complete about turn and that truly marks our friendship. Its been a year or thereabouts, since I know you. But yet, I feel that you have given me more advice in that year than anyone else!
Simantini - Ahh, I didn't write your name when I first set out to write this exhaustive list. Ah but just a few days down the line, a Namrata's party day, a Spidey movie later and numerous phone and online conversations later, I have to admit, Lolo's right. You ARE special. Just a bit fucked in the head, but special nonetheless.
Mia - OFFF COURSEEEE!! Yeah she has been a thorough darling when it comes to making me feel good and happy. Our association has been really short, but she has been one of my great supports through the toughest times of my life. I know by now it seems a cliche that all the people I have mentioned here, I call my 'support', but there is nothing else I can really express myself with. 'Coz each and every one of them have been wonderful when it comes to being there for me. I guess, in life, you succeed only because of the friends you make. Mia, you to are leaving us here, but don't fucking think we are forgetting you, 'coz I at least won't and I know two other gentlemen who won't either.
Sneha - Yes, thank you for calling me during ISC, thank you for reminding me that "Yes, keeping in touch is as important as staying friends". Thank you for calling me "Gwijjlieee Bear", for saying, "I dunno, why I was scared of you!". Thanks for the 8B walks, the constant reminders that I am gaining weight. Thanks for laughing at my silly jokes. And then calling me the "King of PJs". Yeah I am proud of that! Do I need say more? Li'l mousey!
Tani - Yes, I need thank you the most. For not screwing me up when I deserved it. For saying that you forgive me, but still punish me. For believing that whatever we shared is a lie. For making me feel terrible for months on end. For playing a part in changing me into what I have become today. Yes, I loved the way you used to shout at me at night for not calling, for falling asleep, for turning up half an hour late. Yup, I miss those days. And I miss you, but sadly enough one cannot have everything in life. God bless you gal!
Rhea - Yeah, surprised? Yes I wanna thank you last, and not least; for doing everything you did and more. I have changed for the better, into a much better version of Rijoy Bhaumik, and I really have to thank you for most of that change. Yes, you have wronged, but it is also true that I see light at last. Guess, whatever happens, happens for the best. But never worry, I am always there for you maybe not in the way I promised, but anything you need, any help and I am there. And no this ain't "sarci"!
This song, is dedicated to all my friends, aforementioned and not mentioned (and I sincerely apologise for missing anyone out!) :
Mame (Ma) - Yes, I know I know, I should never thank her (how can I think of thanking her??). But yes ma, I love you! We have had our fights, and I have outright disobeyed you and I know your internet skills are too primitive to read this before 2020 AD, but still I would like to say, you are my life! You gave me life, and I will never pretend that I love you no matter what! And PLEASE, stop believing those astrologers FOR ONCE!! They speak crap most of the time!!
Babe (Dad) - Yes Father, it is but NATURAL that I should thank you next. I know I have often hurt you, but I won't pretend that I don't understand the sacrifices you make to make sure my future is bright! Staying in an unknown country for 3 years, alone without family, friends, it is almost inhuman! But yes, dad, I love you like mad too! And I miss you every night, everyday. Come back soon!
Debayan (aka Modon) - What the hell do I say about you? One of my first school friends and one of my greatest friends EVER, this guy is often under-estimated to be a fool and ununderstanding. But he understands everything inside me even before I say it. Probably the only one of that kind. It doesn't take a fool to do that. We have had our share of fights, angry outbursts and every other negative thing in the past, but you would expect that in fourteen years of friendship. The only one who knows me INSIDE OUT. There are many things in my past who recent friends don't know, but Debs and Soumya don't count in them. Don't you ever think you are not important in my life, because you are wrong. You are as important as oxygen itself. And yes as for his wife (aka my seester) Sayani Mukherjee, well she needs to be mentioned along with his name 'coz they have been inseparable for 4 years. Sayani you're too sweet, thanks for fighting with me all the time with hopeless issues. Love both of you.
Lolo - And you were expecting Santa Claus next I suppose??? Let's just pass for now...
Namrata (Basu) - The all-in-one. Best friend, shoulder to cry, worst critic, etc. etc. etc. Yes, there have been times when one fights and one cries and one pouts and one feels sad. These are the times when the light-bearers bring light to your life. Nam has been such a light-bearer. She has always made me feel like I am some mature idiot, in truth I am like anyone else, who needs a pillar of strength supporting me, Nam has been my pillar when times look down. You know why I feel so strong? Because I have had so many pillars supporting my life. I am always there for you when you don't need me, but more so when you need me desperately.
Saikat - He is my brother. The shoulder to cry on. The robotic shoulder. The only person who has unbiasedly shown me reason and the right path. The only one who knows how I feel even before I utter it. And sometimes all that scares me, parting, end of school, etc. etc. Yes, Saikat you have been my rock. One of my biggest rocks and I can't write enough to thank you. Don't worry I will never ever keep anything from you again, lesson learnt!
Faraz (aka Fuzz) - Another brother. Another rock. Another pillar of support, but no he has never showed me logic or reason, but he has been blind in support of me. No matter if I am right or wrong, Fuzz has guided me in that direction and always been there to make sure that I succeed, no matter what! Faraz, my brother, without you beside me enduring all that I have would have been a Herculean effort. Thank you, I know I am demeaning our friendship by saying thank you, but there is no time like now to say it! Needless to say that I will always be there when you need me.
Shiladitya - Yes, I know this is getting too long, but I want EVERYONE here to read this. Shilu, my littlest, bestest, cutest buddy. This is guy is an out and out supporter of whatever I do, and don't let what he tells you fool you. 'Coz whatever happens, I will get to know anyway, so DON'T BITCH ABT ME TO THESE people. It's not right for me to know about the bitchings. Shila has been a great friend ever since we 'fought' in class 10 (or I pulverised him in class 10). We have shared life's great sorrows, miseries, happinesses, flunky chemistry marks, and what not in these last four odd years. I can never thank you enough.
Soumya - My red-blooded friend has been a constant source of support and happiness mixed with mutual sorrow and tears in the last 12 years. Even before that we were great friends and always gave each other the mutual respect we deserve. Perhaps the only one who has paid heed to my advice sincerely and dedicatedly, because when he has not, life has not been kind on him. Impulsive to the bone, me loves you brother! Brother, no no no, you're my BABY!!!
Ranamit (one half of Ronojoy) - Yes, my keora buddy, you are one of the people who make my brain tick more than anyone else with your cryptic talks and your even more cryptic catchphrases. But it all makes sense once you open up the mind. Rono is a great source of inspiration, I know it has been jus 2 years, but he is often under-estimated. He is not the shoulder to cry on type of friend, gets uncomfortable with emotional talks so he makes me laugh with his stupid phrases. I like that. You have saved my hide on a number of occasions, often putting your own reputation at stake. I am greatly indebted to you, monetarily and mentally!
Anindita - What do I say about the girl who has been one of my closest friends for soooo long. Yes, she is the 1st girl (other than cousins, relatives, etc.) who I ever spoke to and she has trusted me beyond herself. That is something I can say for very few people. Thank you, Andi, for being such a part of my life and seeing me through my worse phases and now seeing through my best. God knows why we fight so much? God knows why we end up in a soup everytime we fight, but yes, I am so much in need of support in my life that I quite enjoy the making up after the fights. Thank you for being there, thank you for being soooo stubborn, thank you for making life so much more bearable.
Sabyasachi - Never thought you would make it to this list would you? But you have. This guy just PROVES the meaning of really fast friends. We are kinda family friends too, but right now he is the one who gets to hear most of my cribbings and shoutings and ramblings and sometimes some very useful advice. I dunno why we are such close friends now, maybe from his side its coz he still needs my help on something, but dude, I am sure, friendship is not based on the QUANTITY of time spent but on the QUALITY of time spent with each other. This guy is always ready to give me a treat, and I promise you a big treat soon.
Souvik - hah! Mr. Boyish Charm can't beat the man you are inside. We have grown really close over the last 2 years, though you ALWAYS seem to call when I am eating or studying and it ends up as a silly missed call. But yes, he is ALSO someone I can go and speak to anytime and he will always be there to soothe the nerve while playing the guitar. Thanks man.
Bharat - Another underestimated friend. He is a good guy at heart. His advice makes sense; trust me on this. He is greatly affected in his own personal life and I am really grateful that you told me about most of it. I am sure our friendship will blossom in the near future, and we will have great times to share once we leave St. James' into the outer world, making waves in our own fields. Don't worry about what other people say as long as you know you are right from within.
Ankit - Yes, we have had our differences, but trust this guy to turn up with the goods when it comes to proper advice. Ankit is my oldest friend, some one who I know is always there when I need a friend and all else fails. I thank you for whatever you have done for me for the past 18 years. Its a lot of 'thank yous', but all of it is worth it because friendship goes deep to the bone, no matter what misunderstanding or differences occur.
Tuna - She is like the sister I never had. Sister-in-law, correction, since I just proclaimed Saikat as my brother. But seriously, here is one female I am truly scared of. She seems proud of the fact that she scares the Grizzly. Well I thank you for all the advice and all the stuff you have said over the past. Makes a lot of sense at this stage of my life. You people have actually changed my life completely. A complete about turn and that truly marks our friendship. Its been a year or thereabouts, since I know you. But yet, I feel that you have given me more advice in that year than anyone else!
Simantini - Ahh, I didn't write your name when I first set out to write this exhaustive list. Ah but just a few days down the line, a Namrata's party day, a Spidey movie later and numerous phone and online conversations later, I have to admit, Lolo's right. You ARE special. Just a bit fucked in the head, but special nonetheless.
Mia - OFFF COURSEEEE!! Yeah she has been a thorough darling when it comes to making me feel good and happy. Our association has been really short, but she has been one of my great supports through the toughest times of my life. I know by now it seems a cliche that all the people I have mentioned here, I call my 'support', but there is nothing else I can really express myself with. 'Coz each and every one of them have been wonderful when it comes to being there for me. I guess, in life, you succeed only because of the friends you make. Mia, you to are leaving us here, but don't fucking think we are forgetting you, 'coz I at least won't and I know two other gentlemen who won't either.
Sneha - Yes, thank you for calling me during ISC, thank you for reminding me that "Yes, keeping in touch is as important as staying friends". Thank you for calling me "Gwijjlieee Bear", for saying, "I dunno, why I was scared of you!". Thanks for the 8B walks, the constant reminders that I am gaining weight. Thanks for laughing at my silly jokes. And then calling me the "King of PJs". Yeah I am proud of that! Do I need say more? Li'l mousey!
Tani - Yes, I need thank you the most. For not screwing me up when I deserved it. For saying that you forgive me, but still punish me. For believing that whatever we shared is a lie. For making me feel terrible for months on end. For playing a part in changing me into what I have become today. Yes, I loved the way you used to shout at me at night for not calling, for falling asleep, for turning up half an hour late. Yup, I miss those days. And I miss you, but sadly enough one cannot have everything in life. God bless you gal!
Rhea - Yeah, surprised? Yes I wanna thank you last, and not least; for doing everything you did and more. I have changed for the better, into a much better version of Rijoy Bhaumik, and I really have to thank you for most of that change. Yes, you have wronged, but it is also true that I see light at last. Guess, whatever happens, happens for the best. But never worry, I am always there for you maybe not in the way I promised, but anything you need, any help and I am there. And no this ain't "sarci"!
This song, is dedicated to all my friends, aforementioned and not mentioned (and I sincerely apologise for missing anyone out!) :
Hello my friend, we meet again
It's been awhile, where should we begin?
Feels like forever
Within my heart are memories
Of perfect love that you gave to me
Oh, I remember
When you are with me, I'm free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice
We've seen our share of ups and downs
Oh how quickly life can turn around
In an instant
It feels so good to reunite
Within yourself and within your mind
Let's find peace there
When you are with me, I'm free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice
I just want to say hello again
I just want to say hello again
When you are with me I'm free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
Cause when you are with me I am free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice, My sacrifice
I just want to say hello again
I just want to say hello again
My sacrifice.
Not My Kind Of Girl
Somehow the lines I that follow this are so apt that I could not help but to make the entry in my blog.
Yes I don't need this anymore. I am happy again.
When I see you crying
And I know you're crying to get back with me
And I see you're trying
And I know you're trying to get back at me
I ain't got the time
I've made up my mind
You're just not my kind of girl
I can see you're lying
And you know its really plain for me to see
Its still me you're eyeing.
Can't you see that you and I will never be
I ain't got the time
I've made up my mind
You're just not my kind of girl
I don't wanna be
Right by your side
When I'm with you
I'm not alright
And I don't, and I don't want you here with me
I can't help the way I feel
And I don't, and I don't want you by my side
If you're here with me I won't feel alright
When I see you crying
And I know you're crying to get back with me
And I see you're trying
And I know you're trying to get back at me
I ain't got the time
I've made up my mind
You're just not my kind of girl.
Yes I don't need this anymore. I am happy again.
Betrayal...
What do you do when the one you love and trust the most betrays you??? What do you do when she leaves you high and dry for another guy and that too when she is smiling and saying "I love you" and "I care for you" and "I am trying to make our thing work again"??? What?? What?? What??
You killed me...
But I still want you...
I want you...
Or death...
You killed me...
But I still want you...
I want you...
Or death...
Cliche: Life Sucks.
Sitting down to write is never easy.... never easy. but still trying to write and then forgetting wat to do with it is worse so therefore i shall not try. my life lately has not been great.
Highly testing times, with ppl walking in and walking out of my life every other day... do i look like a door to them that u can just pull me open and walk in and walk out after ur done?? or am i as important as a loo, that wen in need therez no1 else but me to use and wen not, i am spited.....
The only constant being in my life for the past year or so is also in trouble. She is going thru a bad phase and i cant seem to do nething abt it. i wish i cud do some more... i wish the myriad shapes in my head would not throb so much, pushing me in the wrong direction... i wish my temper would not erupt like a pregnant volcano... i wish...
life has been turned upside down in school as well, itz best not to elaborate. why?? why did i have to do it?? perhaps itz wat u call 'a rush of blood to the head', but i cudv gone without it. i wish that ppl stp asking me abt it whenever they meet me...
my health has not been looking up either. coughing at nyt, puking blood, fever...... life ebbs away and all i can do is stand and stare..... i wish i wasn't sick.... i wish my pain can be soaked in the same way i try to soak the pain of the persons that mean the world to me.
Highly testing times, with ppl walking in and walking out of my life every other day... do i look like a door to them that u can just pull me open and walk in and walk out after ur done?? or am i as important as a loo, that wen in need therez no1 else but me to use and wen not, i am spited.....
The only constant being in my life for the past year or so is also in trouble. She is going thru a bad phase and i cant seem to do nething abt it. i wish i cud do some more... i wish the myriad shapes in my head would not throb so much, pushing me in the wrong direction... i wish my temper would not erupt like a pregnant volcano... i wish...
life has been turned upside down in school as well, itz best not to elaborate. why?? why did i have to do it?? perhaps itz wat u call 'a rush of blood to the head', but i cudv gone without it. i wish that ppl stp asking me abt it whenever they meet me...
my health has not been looking up either. coughing at nyt, puking blood, fever...... life ebbs away and all i can do is stand and stare..... i wish i wasn't sick.... i wish my pain can be soaked in the same way i try to soak the pain of the persons that mean the world to me.
I have numerous friends
But I am still lonely
I've seen numerous trends
Oh still so lonely
I wish it wasnt so...
I wish there was some1 i can fall back on when all else is dark.
Clocks keep ticking...
Still ticking...
Change. Another Boring Post.
Guess What??? I am back again updating my blog and trying not to fall asleep. The date is 22nd May, time is 2.50 AM at night or morning, whatever you might call it... and here I am, writing yet another late entry in my already dilapidated blog. ISC is knocking on the door (thanks to me parents I dont really need be reminded anymore) and I am in a saaaad state of affairs. Itz already June and I have no clue as to what I want to do with my life whatsoever. Maybe I will stick to my dream of opening a grocer's shop...
On life in general, it cant get any worse. I get into damn fights with mom and dad everyday about my studies and my girl. And she seems really least bothered about me. What a life! I am not cribbing. She has a lot on her plate and I dont really blame her for not giving enough time to the relationship but, yes, sometimes it hurts. Sometimes I wonder why I dont explode under all the pressure and all the hurt life throws at me. Sometimes I wonder why am I living and why there is so much pain in life. There has always been pain... will it ever fade away??? She is my life, there is no doubt about it, but is that why she has to hurt me over and over and over and over again??? Have I not done enough? Or have I just been a jerk? People say I am indifferent to life, that's because life has made me indifferent to it. I cant take it anymore... my bubble will burst... I will just fade away... Far away...
On life in general, it cant get any worse. I get into damn fights with mom and dad everyday about my studies and my girl. And she seems really least bothered about me. What a life! I am not cribbing. She has a lot on her plate and I dont really blame her for not giving enough time to the relationship but, yes, sometimes it hurts. Sometimes I wonder why I dont explode under all the pressure and all the hurt life throws at me. Sometimes I wonder why am I living and why there is so much pain in life. There has always been pain... will it ever fade away??? She is my life, there is no doubt about it, but is that why she has to hurt me over and over and over and over again??? Have I not done enough? Or have I just been a jerk? People say I am indifferent to life, that's because life has made me indifferent to it. I cant take it anymore... my bubble will burst... I will just fade away... Far away...
Here I am
On the road again
Here I am
Up on the stage
Here I go
Playing star again
Here I go
TURN THE PAGE
The Female
Dudes all around the globe!
Never fall in love with any gal! Its highly dangerous. Speaking from personal experience they will never give, like, a proper answer no matter how thick you lay it on them! No matter how much you mush (eeeyuck) and how much you say you love them they still come up with the same damn f**king answer, "I need to think about it" or "Give me some time." or "I always thought you as a very good friend!". Oh Puhleeeez!! Don't they know that these damn retorts are now cliches of sorts! Man, trying to get a girl to say yes have driven guys mad, to tears, up the wall, (in case of a certain Devdas Mookerjee) to alcohol and in certain extreme cases, to commit suicide! I will finish my little post by posing a little question to all my readers: IS PROPOSING TO A GIRL WORTH THE TROUBLE WE HAVE TO FACE??
The answer is left to ponder................
Never fall in love with any gal! Its highly dangerous. Speaking from personal experience they will never give, like, a proper answer no matter how thick you lay it on them! No matter how much you mush (eeeyuck) and how much you say you love them they still come up with the same damn f**king answer, "I need to think about it" or "Give me some time." or "I always thought you as a very good friend!". Oh Puhleeeez!! Don't they know that these damn retorts are now cliches of sorts! Man, trying to get a girl to say yes have driven guys mad, to tears, up the wall, (in case of a certain Devdas Mookerjee) to alcohol and in certain extreme cases, to commit suicide! I will finish my little post by posing a little question to all my readers: IS PROPOSING TO A GIRL WORTH THE TROUBLE WE HAVE TO FACE??
The answer is left to ponder................
More Poems
Dear People,
One of my best poems. A must publish and a must read:
Thanks for putting up with the mush!
One of my best poems. A must publish and a must read:
Till Death Do Us 'Part
As he sat there with his head in his hands,
The gallows await him on his path to hell,
Reflecting upon his life, hours now remain,
Tears dripped on, as he remembered how he fell
In love, was that his fault? His mistake?
Was that how he will remember life?
Insanely striving to get at her, talk to her,
But all in vain. But, it was his strife,
That drove him on, towards her!
What he wouldn't do for her, God save him!
Can he prove his love for her? Can he die
For her?
Scale the highest heights, jump the rim?
For her?
Can he do it? Yes, he can!
And that's what scared me, warned him I did!
No avail! From us all he ran,
Yet one day he comes back and halted to a skid,
Says he, "I have done it! I will die for her!"
I remember that day well, death did it usher!
***********
She remembered him well, the man of her dreams,
She was forsakenly shy, yet willing it seems,
But he knew not her feelings and went to get her,
He ended up at her house, started in a murmur:
"Your daughter's hand in marriage?", said the lad,
Upstairs in her room she was terrified, yet glad!
The father said: "Steal the king's sceptre for me!
"And then only will my daughter's hand go to thee!"
Not flinching a muscle! Not blinking an eye!
The lad went to the palace, and bid life goodbye.
"He got caught!" said the chambermaid to her,
Her head swirled, she fell on her bed of leather.
Opening her eyes she could now discover,
The vastness of his sacrifice, the eternal lover,
She could do nothing, in his last few days,
She went to see him, but his heavenly gaze
Rendered her speechless. Nothing could she do?
Deliver her life to him? To make them one not two?
In her great oak cupboard she had carefully kept,
A jar of hemlock awaited her and on death crept.
Not for her, you see! But for her sweetheart
"To Be Hanged Till Death": was the call to part;
She opened the jar and, yes she drank it all!
And now Death had to make just one extra call!
***********
"Time to go, m'dear!", said the Man-With-The-Rope,
Time to go? The time had come? Is there no more hope!
No more lies, no more truths, just deep dank darkness,
He got up, said not a word; his thoughts? I cannot guess.
He walked along death row, arms and legs in chains,
Now no more passion, no more smiles, no more pains.....
As he climbed up the raised Last Platform of Justice
Into the chill air he did blow the one last kiss,
And then what he said made my bones chill to the core;
Tears slid down his eyes, love will be there evermore!
As my blood will remain red,
I swear to you that;
This is what he said:
"I will be gone forever,
I will be drowning in you,
I will be gone so why bother?
But I will love you through!
I will love you when the wind chimes,
I will love you in empty darkness,
I will love you in my deepest rhymes.
I will love you when your life's a mess.
But only when you answer to thee:
Tell me now, have you ever loved me?"
Then what happened, you will never guess:
The wind sighed out an audible: "Yes."
Thanks for putting up with the mush!
The Poem. And The Ambigram
Dear Readers,
This is the blog of Rijoy Bhaumik, and I would like EVERYONE to read this poem I have written:
A Clue For You
Now I have been thinking for a while,
And have been waiting to see your smile!
Do you really love me is what I ask?
But asking you IS the difficult task.
So that's why I write this irate verse,
To rid me off this baffling curse.
If your the one, you will get the hint,
'Coz in my eye I have a mischievous glint!
I will not tell you on the face:
That in my heart you take the central place.
So read on and try to unfurl,
If your the one, my "special" girl.
I have sent this to all on my list,
But only SHE will get the gist,
Who does not only read but also takes in,
The one purloined my heart, from within!
So here comes the clue, number one:
Tell me if you know, when you're done.
She's the one who was born in the year
Of the angry dragon of fear,
Don't worry 'coz that's not all,
Hers is a name that takes a "FALL",
There went my next great big clue,
To identify the one who makes me blue!
This poem is for YOU, my dearest dear,
In the next line, all doubts will clear.
I have always loved you from the very first day,
You knew THAT, but still held silent "sway",
Waitng for me to make the first move,
But a loser like me, didn't get into the groove!
I thought you my friend for a very long time,
Loving you secretly, was that a crime?
You still didn't get it, and now I knew,
That you regarded me just as a friend, too!
Frustrated and angry, I had become,
Really silly, how could I be so dumb?
How can someone like YOU ever love ME?
Maybe, you and I were never, meant to be!
You think me to be a liar, but that's OK,
I have never lied to you, it's the truth I say!
You may think me to be an absolute fool,
To you, I know I can never be cool!
A "wedge" betwen us, that will never fill,
But for you, even God, I will kill!
I still know that you will never love me,
A futile effort, this was, I can see!
But at least, try and get this bit:
Now, you are "PERFECT", for you I am not fit.
You will be someone else's now, and that I cannot bear,
So therefore, inside me a habit has come aflare!
A one that will surely kill be one day,
When it comes, not a word will you say!
I will finish with the biggest clue to date,
Now you will surely know and seal my fate.
A fate, that may be bitter or really sweet,
Break or make my heart in a fleet.
You have already given me one killer blow,
Here is the last clue, and then you will know:
Fourteen and One will now go seven times round,
Do this "crazy" exercise and your name is found!
Hope you like it!
The all important SECOND post!
Well, well, well! at last I get to post a SECOND post in one of my blogs! Looks like this is the lucky one! The lucky one that I finally use FOR SURE! Anyway, I just wanted to say a very very silly joke that only desi Indians will understand:
Now, if that's silly and you actually like it then mail me at fuego_en_hielo@yahoo.com and I will be happy to listen to your complaints! Of course, I might just reply so beware! I would like to also add another question which no one else will be able to answer: "Soumyajeet Ghosh AND Rajarshi Banerjee, Where the HELL are you, really?!!!"
"Q. Why did the girl put on her bra when she went to the zoo?
Ans. Because she found out that: Cheetah bhi peeta hai!"
Now, if that's silly and you actually like it then mail me at fuego_en_hielo@yahoo.com and I will be happy to listen to your complaints! Of course, I might just reply so beware! I would like to also add another question which no one else will be able to answer: "Soumyajeet Ghosh AND Rajarshi Banerjee, Where the HELL are you, really?!!!"
Welcome To The Trials And Tribulations OF Rijoy Bhaumik. Yawn! Yeah, I Know!
Hey, you guys out there must be thinking that this guy out there is creating tooooo many BLOGS! Well let me tell you that I AM NOT!!!!! This is just my 563,783rd blog! Well, joking apart welcome to the blog where you can read about every crazy thought that happens to cross my mind!
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