Sexy Post!

We all have seen it, we all know it, but somehow we all fail to recognise it. Take for example; every time we smile looking at the silly puppet on television warning us of AIDS awareness, Buladi. The snorts of derision, the looks of affability, every time someone asks us to play Ludo with them. Yes, my friends I am talking about sexual intercourse. Hold your looks of incredulity, because this is just the beginning.

Sex is the main purpose of a human being, rather for any organism. Whatever we do, we do for sex, directly or indirectly. Love, hate, relationship, etc. are all absolute bull crap. It is sex which is the all-important, all-consuming factor of a living being’s life. Take for example, love; when you love someone you invariably want to have sex with that person sooner or later. When you hate someone, you definitely don’t want to have sex with that person. When you like someone of the opposite sex, you are interested to have sex with that person, but not to the extent of love. When you like someone of the same sex, you are hoping that that person will introduce you to a person of the opposite sex who might have sexual intercourse with you. The only exception to sex as a universal property is parental relationship with their children. But the fact remains, that again parent and children relationships are a product of (you guessed it) sex.

Now, why is sex universal? How is sex universal? Take this example; something far-flung from sex: why do we eat? We eat so that we remain healthy and survive. And why would we want to survive? So that we can continue the human species, or else we will go extinct like the dodo. And how would we prevent the human species from taking after the dodo? By having children; and how do we have children? At this point I don’t even have to answer that.

Another example: Why do we study? Well, simple. We study so that we can earn. What happens when we earn? The opposite sex takes notice, and when they take notice they invariably want to have sex with us, because money is the universal language of sex (looks are secondary; anyone will tell you that!). Don’t get me wrong, I am not suggesting that the human race is a race of prostitutes running after sex for money. It’s just that (like any female will tell you) everyone needs a secure future, and the only way that will happen is by having a huge bank balance, or by having a spouse who has a huge bank balance. And why do we need a secure future? So that we can secure the future of our future generations; and how do we end up with a future generation? More and MORE SEX!

So you see folks, sex is universal. You just can’t say “Ok, this guy is off his rocker. I won’t have sex.” I mean DUH! How silly, if you don’t want to have sex, join the Vatican. They sure have lots of space for people like you. They might even make you the Pope someday.

PS: If you’re a relative; I didn’t write this! Honest!
PPS: If you’re my girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, wife, ex-wife; I know what you’re thinking, you should have thought of that EARLIER.

This post was conceived by Soumya Mukherjee (The Unrajat) and executed by the author. It is purely a figment of the author’s imagination. Anything that resembles, or seems to resemble any real person, place or belief is purely coincidental. Though, the author would not mind sex sometime or the other, most of the post is for amusement of the reader only. Do not institute legal suit against the author and/or Soumya since they did not wish to cause damage to you or your sentiments.